MY TESTIMONY
I guess God planted the seeds of knowing him in my early years when I studied in a missionary school. There I learned of Jesus, and studied the Bible to pass my Religious Knowledge examination. Until the time when I was 32, I acknowledged the existence of God but made no effort to accept him or know him more than a stranger.
I married when I was 25 and have children 2 years later. The subsequent 5 years made me question my existence as I pondered what life means now with a family and a career that can feed my family but not challenging. My eyes often turn skyward to search for answers to my spiritual wandering. Like E.T, I longed for my spiritual home. I started recollecting my Bible knowledge and did further readings. I knew then that I must make a commitment to declare my allegiance. So on May 31, 1981 I was baptized in the seas off Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan, about an hour's drive from Seremban.
My initial mood after being baptized was an incredulous feeling, that I have been accepted into God's kingdom. I felt exhilarated but also inexperienced. I did not know then that I was saved by GOD himself, that God was (and is) Three in One: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That God came down to earth as God the Son and died for my sins. Over the years I was tremendously humbled and grateful that God would do this special thing for me: die on the cross for me.
In 1988 I left my safe job and went into business, making latex gloves. I went in with a simple thought of making money and high ideals that it would be profitable and easy. After all I already know how to make latex and dipping molds into latex to make gloves should be 'no sweat'. Things turned out very differently. My business was immediately swallowed up in crisis: no cash, no market and nightmares haunted me daily. In such moments, my loneliness was accompanied by deep cries to God to help dig me up from this situation. My family have to endure my sufferings. To compound it, I had kidney stones (from not drinking enough water). This crisis helped turn my wife and children to God and on June 3, 1990 they were all baptized. Looking at things positively, I am thankful that out of my crisis God delivered me a family of fellow christians.
For three years my business was hanging in crisis but I believed that my prayers, as well as those from my mother and other christian relatives interceding for me, pleading to God gave me relief and recovery from closure. At one point, we had negative capital but God turned us around. In 1992 I was able to travel overseas, a sign that God has worked us out of our difficulties. Yet, I know that we are never completely out of the deep end. I know it and I readily accept that God played the major role in our recovery and not my skills and ability. This is the extent of my faith and I gave thanks to him always.
God continued to prosper me and my business. My three children grew up beautifully. One by one, I was able to educate them to university in the United States and the United Kingdom. The cost of overseas education was expensive, especially when the Malaysian ringgit was caught in the financial crisis of 1997 when both of my younger children were still studying overseas. Thanks be to God, I had the funds to pay their fees and bills. When they graduated in 1996 and in 1999, I knew that God has fulfilled his promise to see my children through their studies.
Today my older daughter is married. This year (2004) both my only son and younger daughter will be married. All are working. I am planning a gradual retirement from business. And as I look back to the 23 years that God took me, I could see the number of times that he carried me through the hard years.
Our human crisis never ends. I know that I will be depending on God's grace and mercy more than ever. As I grow older, my health will be my major concern. I need to attend to my hypertension, my prostate and my degenerative spinal condition. They are not worrisome but they can become troublesome as I age. Yet, I know that my faith will bring me across whatever difficulty and pain that I encounter. As a christian, I am not exempted from these human sufferings. However, as a christian I have someone to turn to for assurance. And when I do eventually take leave from my family and go home to my God, I will be happy and going in the knowledge that I know where I will be when I finally breathe my last and say my goodbye to my loved ones.
I have not been a model christian. I continued sinning against God. I am not perfect. I struggled to be good, not to sin. I failed and I succeed. I rise and I fall. I worked against temptations and sometimes I was victorious, sometimes I succumbed. But at all times, God held me and patiently led me away. I am grateful that he never abandon me or consider me incurable. I am grateful that he loves me in spite of my mischief, my waywardness and my weakness to the temptations of the world. I am giving my life back again to God and I pray that the remaining years I have to account for will leave me at peace with him when it is time to go.
Today I serve in my church in capacities I have gifting for. I sing in the choir, I am doing church publications and I help out in a social concerns ministry. I am also involved in the care group ministry. Am I pleased? That is not relevant. What is important is that I stay close to my Lord Jesus Christ as he walks down life's path with me. May his name be praised and worshipped always.
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